Mark Gilbert of Bloomberg has a hilarious list (http://chucknorrisfacts.com ) of ways of how Chuck Norris controls the economy:
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1. Chuck Norris doesn’t target inflation, he roundhouse-kicks it until it begs for mercy.
2. Chuck Norris doesn’t supply collateral, only collateral damage.
3. The tears of Chuck Norris would supply enough liquidity to solve the credit crisis. Too bad he never cries.
4. When the yield on a Chuck Norris bond goes up, the price also rises.
5. Chuck Norris trades on fear and greed simultaneously.
6. Alan Greenspan calls Chuck Norris “The Maestro.”
7. Chuck Norris Asset Management made 50 percent on its subprime mortgage-backed bond fund last month.
8. Chuck Norris doesn’t borrow at the Fed’s discount window. Chuck Norris LENDS at the Fed’s discount window.
9. Chuck Norris’s curves never invert.
10. Chuck Norris doesn’t buy gold to hedge against inflation. Gold buys Chuck Norris to hedge against inflation.
11. When the U.S. economy sneezes, the world catches a cold. When Chuck Norris sneezes, the U.S. economy catches pneumonia.
12. When Chuck Norris makes you a price, it isn’t an offer; it’s an obligation to buy.
13. Chuck Norris isn’t a market maker; he IS the market.
14. Chuck Norris has a trade surplus with China.